, , , , , ,

I have occasion to ponder unconditional love, and wonder: Isn’t it vexing?

I thought I had it all figured out.  Unconditional love means accepting, forgiving, embracing.

And then someone hurt me deeply, again.

Someone I believed I loved with all my heart.  Someone I believed had tested me and tested me — and others — yet still drew my unconditional love.

Love. Without. Conditions.

But dishonesty and emotional manipulation tested me, and I was found wanting.

I was tested, and discovered unconditional love and forgiveness are more difficult than I believed.  I presumed I had unlimited love to give; I believed I could be tested — indeed, I had survived many tests, and was convinced love would surmount all.

It hasn’t.

I am grateful to learn that unconditional love has a deeper definition than I recognized. I am grateful, as difficult as it is, to learn that unconditional love is actually not at all simple.

I am pondering unconditional love tonight, and know only one thing: It’s vexing, and I am found wanting.